This week dates are about to start and the guys are officially moved in to Bachelor Mansion. The Rise of Chad starts with this amazing toast...
"To a beautiful girl, to a beautiful life; f*ck you guys, I'm gunna make her my wife."
Personally I found it very clever and funny. The guys in the house... not so much.
Group Date #1
Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Wells, Robby, Ali, and James F get invited on some sort of fireman date. Grant is on this date. He happens to be a fire fighter so he's totally got this one in the bag. The guys are taken to a fire academy and put through the ringer with several fire cadet drills.
Grant wins the whole sha-bang and Wells nearly passes out from exhaustion. No surprise on either front. Wells gets extra time while he's lying half dead in the sun and Grant gets extra time before the cocktail party.
Meanwhile back at home the guys (minus Chad) are bonding by writing a song about JoJo. It's like summer camp! This is serious shit tho, you guys. One guy had a pad and pen. JoJo, where did you gooooo, you've been on date, we've been missing you at hoooooome... kinda catchy.
At the cocktail party Robby is wearing a mock turtle neck that really gives me the creeps. When I picture the type of guy who wears a mock turtle neck it's a college professor in his late 50s with a white beard and glasses who's screwing his grad assistant. #creepyoldman
Wells bags the group date rose.
Kisses go to Grant and Luke. Oh, Luke.
1 on 1
Derek gets invited on the very first 1 on 1 of the season! I put Derek in my Top 3 during my Tune In post so I'm hoping he goes far this season.
They actually have a very fun date where they made choices that lead them to a picnic overlooking Golden Gate Bridge.
Derek is very quiet and reserved which makes me nervous for the future. Can he open up enough to create something real with JoJo? For now, he's safe and he gets a rose and multiple kisses.
I'll admit I was a little distracted during this date. Does Derek not look like John Krasinski?! Come on! #HOT
Group Date #2
Jordan, Nick, Christian, James Taylor, Alex, and Chad are taken to ESPN studios. The guys arrive and JoJo is sitting at the anchor desk a
After victory spiking the rose challenge (points for Jordan's double knee slide and Chad's cartwheel), mock proposals, and interviews, the SportsNations guy rank Marine Alex 3rd, Chad 2nd, and James Taylor 1st!
Chad is actually making good points - that he doesn't know Jojo, he doesn't know what he loves about her yet, but he knows that he wants to fall in love. All valid points, but delivered oh, so, horribly! I feel like he is just so angry. It could be because he mom passed away 6 months ago (which he reveals at the the group date cocktail party). If I were his therapist I would say that because of his mother's death he's afraid of close relationships (even with other guys!). He has a fear of losing someone else he has bonded with.
So Chad's hatefest of everyone who isn't him immedately ramps up at the second group date cocktail party. He's getting too much for me.
Also, why did Jojo take Alex, the shortest guy ever, over to the over sized chair! He jumps up and looks like a child!
The boys from SportsNation really got Jojo's wheels turning because she chooses to gives James Taylor the group date rose.
The Cocktail Party
Let's start with the sappy stuff...
Chase didn't have a date this week, but he's serious about pursuing JoJo. He creates a mini date for JoJo including SNOW because he's from Denver and loves the winter. Don't know how all that snow in Denver doesn't melt, because Chase just melting my heart.
Now on to Chad...
So, this whole episode has been taken up by his douchery so I decided to find humor in him at the rose ceremony...
Such as when he was eating all the deli meat. I mean you have to admit it was funny, and it was even funnier is when he was sitting by the fire by himself eating ham. I think he was pondering life's deepest questions.
Gawd, that was a lot of deli meat.
Alex is not standing for Chad's behavior. He's concerning himself with it way too much. And we know from seasons past that those guys lose site of the girl, get caught up in the drama, and get sent packing. Womp, womp.
Collectively as a group the guys decide to confront Chad. However, Chad has me on the floor laughing with his analogy of West Side Story. I. Was. Dying.
The Rose Ceremony
Chase, James S., and Brandon did not get dates this week so they really hoping to get roses. James Taylor, Derek, and Wells are through to next week.
It turns out JoJo gives her final rose of the evening to Chad, sending Will, Bachelor Super Fan James S, and Hipster Brandon home. Tough break for James S and Brandon who didn't get dates either this week.
Quotes of The Night:
"When you miss a meal and you look like that it's detrimental to your progress. At least that's what I've heard from him. I wouldn't know." - James S
"I'm not going to miss out on this tasty fruit." - Chad
"She going to keep Alex around because she doesn't want American to think she hates short people." - Chad
Until next week Bachelor Nation...